Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Today is a crapshoot

Dear today,

Let me count the ways in which you are screwing me over.

1) Frederick's of Hollywood has informed me that I need to call the local USPS office and instruct them to stop ruining my corsets when they deliver them.  I'm not sure why Frederick's of Hollywood doesn't include a sticker that says something like, "DO NOT BEND," or why they don't send corsets in boxes.  Or why I have to fix the problem I'm not causing.  Or why I'm still not being offered some kind of compensation for this RIDICULOUSNESS.

2) Johns Hopkins can't reimburse me for a $230 plane ticket until I send them a receipt.  I thought I did, but the receipt I sent doesn't show that my credit card was charged.

3) Expedia's printable receipts for business purposes do not show that my card was charged, just that I supposedly paid $230.

4) I checked my credit card account, and it shows that I was charged $89 for the original flight, and then an additional $190 when I had to change my return flight at the last minute.  That's more than the $230 Expedia says I paid.

5) Expedia's automated phone service does not have a general representative option.

6) Someone stole the postage stamps from my desk.

Love,
Me

Friday, February 11, 2011

Days in Boston may be numbered

Dear University of Chicago,

If you want me, you've got me.  For serious.

Love,
Me

Dear Omni Hotel, Chicago,

You are a ridiculously expensive hotel.  You have in room snacks, sitting there and taunting me, that are ridiculously overpriced ($6 for Snickers?  NOPE).

Charging me $10/day for internet is just overkill.

Love,
Me

Dear classy heeled boots,

I still love you, but after today, I think we need to go on a break.  No hard feelings.  I just miss the time before the only sensation my feet were capable of experiencing was pain.

Love,
Me