Friday, September 3, 2010

This is why no one likes you, Comcast

8/31/10: First attempt (online)

Me: Hi, Comcast, I'd like some cable and internet please.
Comcast: Great!  But you already have an active account at your address.  Sorry.  I would have LOVED to get you set up.
Me: But that account was cancelled earlier this month.  It shouldn't be active anymore.
Comcast: Nope, it's totally active.  Sorry, please try again later.

9/1/10: Second attempt (online)

Me: Hi, okay, it's been cancelled for sure.  All of the cable boxes and our modem are all gone.  Internet, please!
Comcast: That's very nice.  Please give me your social security number so I can verify your identity.
Me: Uh, no.
Comcast: It's a secure server.
Me: Really, no.
Comcast: Then you will have to go to a Comcast Service Center in order to start service.  Is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: *asplode*

Me: I have to go to a service center in Allston.
Friend: It just took me an hour to get home from Kenmore on the 57.  You do know that it's BU move in day, right?
Me: Crap!

Me: Hi, okay, was just joking about not giving you my social.
Comcast: Hi, how can we help you?
Me: Internet please!!
Comcast: Unfortunately, there is an account at your address that is not completely disconnected.  You will need to wait until it's fully disconnected to start service.  Is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: But the person earlier didn't say anything about that!

(phone)
Me: Hi.  I need cable and internet service.  Previous service here HAS been disconnected, as evidenced by the lack of internet.  We need internet, and we need it now.  Why won't you jerks give us an account?
Dude: I can give you a discount on the installation*, and if you'll hold for a few minutes, I'll see if there have been any cancellations so we can push up your installation date.
Me: Thanks.
Dude: Enjoy your service!
Me: GO AWAY.

* There is no discount.  Online, the installation fee is listed as $50.  On the phone, the fees were $30ish and $99, but they were both "discounted" and equalled about $50 total.  That's not a discount, dude.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Jesus Camp

Without a doubt, scariest movie I've ever seen.  The Globe was right to list it as one of their top 50 scariest movies.

One of the most important parts of the movie, to me at least, was near the end when the radio jockey had the psycho* Jesus-camp lady on the air.  He pointed out the difference between learning and indoctrination, namely that learning involves choice.  And he's absolutely right.  And to me, it's one of the key differences between evangelical and fundamentalist faiths and faiths like (not quite Orthodox) Judaism.**

Growing up in a mostly-non-religious Jewish household was the best situation I think I could have been in.  While a lot of the traditions we engaged in were for tradition's sake, looking back, I don't feel indoctrinated.  Going to Hebrew school, I learned to read a different language, and I learned various songs and prayers.  And I was presented with stories and situations, in which we discussed the right thing to do.  We were never told that Adam and Eve were real.  I was actually told by my rabbi, when I asked at age 12ish, that they weren't.  I learned history as well, specifically about the Holocaust and the history of Israel.  If I did experience indoctrination, it was that I was led to believe that certain Middle Eastern countries were jackasses, something that I no longer believe.

I wasn't just allowed to question traditions or god or the Torah.  I was supposed to.  Ask questions, dig deeper, do research, don't just happily believe whatever we're told by authority figures.

Today, I'm an atheist Jew.  I say that without humor, and it's not a contradiction.  Being Jewish is still a major part of my identity (I met my boyfriend through JDate, a Jewish dating site, I still observe major holidays, and if I do eventually decide that I want to have kids, they're going to grow up with Judaism), and one that has led me to be an atheist.  I've never felt as if believing in god is essential to being Jewish.  I do, however, believe that questioning god is essential to being Jewish.  And I can still study/ask questions and give to charity/do good deeds without believing that there's someone up there, watching me and judging me.

Also, threat of hell has never been a factor, even when I did believe in god.  That is, the afterlife is a non-issue in Judaism.  You do your best in this life, and this life only.  There's no heavenly reward for brown-nosers.  There's no punishment for thinking differently.

So watching these children discussing sin and satan and god and Jesus ... scary.  I hope that these children are challenged appropriately so that they can escape all the brainwashing.

* I chose this word carefully.  I'm trying to cut back on calling things "crazy," since I have a lot of friends with varying mental illnesses, and I myself have suffered from clinical depression in the past.  So when I say "psycho" here, I mean that these people are absolutely out of touch with reality without being mentally ill.

** This is all based on my experience as a Jew.  I figure that a lot of Orthodox Jews do NOT question traditions and Jewish law as much as they would if they weren't indoctrinated.  For example, I find the practice of not touching members of the opposite sex highly offensive and unnecessary.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Mulan: As close to feminist as Disney gets

Mulan isn't a perfect Disney film, that's for sure.  It's got loads of issues.  But that's not what I want to talk about here ...

Dear M. Night Shyamalan, here's how you do it:

M. Night Shyamalan, director of the recently critically panned "The Last Airbender" likes to make excuses for his mostly-Caucasian cast.  Never mind that "Avatar: The Last Airbender" obviously took place in an Asia-inspired land, or that the show was built on respect for various Asian-Inuit cultures.
Disney decided to create one of their classic fairy tale movies, this time surrounding the tale of Mulan, a hero in Chinese folklore.  Two of the three main characters (Mulan and Shang) are voiced by Ming-Na, born in China, and B.D. Wong, of Chinese descent.  Plenty of others are of Korean or Japanese descent as well.

Additionally, the characters themselves, as they appear on screen, are obviously Chinese without being caricatures.  As Lea Salonga, who provides Mulan's singing voice, mentioned in a live show, she was expecially pleased that unlike just about every other Disney heroine, Mulan is not busty beyond belief (she's not flat, but her breasts aren't so obvious that you can't stop looking, as is the case with Jasmine, Ariel, and others).

Gender is a performance--gotta make these men into men!

This is the biggest gold star of the whole movie, and just about most of the Disney franchise.  This film is about gender as a performance, not as an inherent set of traits.  That's the take-home message.

In the beginning of the film, Mulan's family is extremely concerned.  Their daughter is not any of the things she's supposed to be--that is, that a woman is supposed to be.  Instead of dutifully learning what is expected of her, Mulan cheats by writing notes on her forearm.  She's late for the matchmaker (unbecoming!), and while she technically does her chore (feeding the chickens), she really finds a way to get around it.  Plus, she's clumsy!!  How will she ever attract a dude?!

She heads into town to get all dressed up for the matchmaker, and she's even worse than before when she arrives.  Now she's dirty as well as late, lazy, and dishonest (cheater!).  Clearly, this woman doesn't have her family's honor at the top of her priorities.  And so her mother and some other ladies sing to her about how she'll bring honor to the family because they're going to clean her up and make her all womanly.  Mulan is more than visibily uncomfortable in this situation; she does nothing to help speed along the process, and she's obviously nervous and unhappy.  Upon arriving at the matchmaker, she procedes to, as many outstanding young woman in this country and century would say, fuck everything the hell up.  She's not being malicious; she just sucks at being a lady, and also, did no one explain to the cricket what was going on?

So now we have a depressed Mulan, who begins to sing a pop song about how she doesn't recognize the person in her reflection.  As she wipes off her make-up, it's clear: Mulan cannot pull off this gender performance.  It makes her sick and unhappy.  And at dinner, things are made worse when it's clear that her family will no longer support her lack of performance.

Mulan decides to join the army in her father's place (he's a disabled veteran; it's a bit assholey to even ask him to serve), and now she must perform a gender on the other end of the perspective, one she's gotten just about no practice with.  Mushu tries to help her by explaining how to walk, how to talk, how men greet each other (punching each other in the face), and so on.  Mulan is clearly not on either end of this spectrum, and yet there's no in between for her.  Boo!  She can't handle exaggerated femininity, and she clearly sucks at exaggerated masculinity.

And then we get to THE BEST DISNEY SONG EVER.  Okay, so many other movies have great music ("Part of Your World," "Under the Sea," "Kiss de Girl," "Be Our Guest," "Beauty and the Beast," "Can You Feel the Love Tonight," etc.), but really, this is the best song to ever find its way into a Disney movie, and it's at its best in two contexts.  The first?  When you're drunk with your friends and you keep repeating the first verse and the chorus.  The second?  Within the movie itself, with everything that's happening on screen.

Let's see ...

The song, in any other context, would seem sexist.  But in this one, it's hilarious.  Shang is singing about how he's gotta make men outta his recruits.  But ... Mulan is a gurl!  HAHA.

But it's more than that.  Mulan isn't the only person struggling.  Her three eventual friends, who represent the other soldiers, are similarly incompetent at doing all those important man things, like grabbing fish out of rivers and being as mysterious as the dark side of the moon.  Mulan isn't NOT a man because she's a woman.  She and the others are all not men until they learn how to be men.  Hmmm, performativity maybe?

Anyway, now they all know how to be all manly, and now they're going to go show off.  On the way, we have a song that makes Mulan super uncomfortable about the kind of woman these guys all want to fuck: someone quiet, who cooks, who fawns over her man, who's goddamn HOT, etc.  As a hetero woman, for Mulan, this is like eavesdropping on someone saying horrible things about you.  Nice.

So there's a battle, and Mulan saves everyone, and Shang's all, OMG HERO, but then she's a woman, so that's bad.  Shang seems to feel betrayed, which, to me, carries implications that the movie in no way addresses.*  Anyway, he doesn't kill her, which is good because it really affects the outcome of the movie.

Mulan doesn't go home, though.  She knows the Huns are still alive, and although she obviously has a crush on Shang, who now hates her, she's not going to do as he asks.  She goes to China, gets pissed that people are treating her like a woman and stuff, and gets in Shang's face about the Huns.  He ignores her and is stupidly wrong.  Everyone screams and freaks when Shan Yu appears, but Mulan just gets this look on her face like, "Oh hell no, fucker, now I gotta kill you."

And how does she help Shang and the boys get into the palace?  By acting like women (and crossdressing), to the reprise of "I'll Make a Man Outta You."  It's meant to be hilarious, and the reason it's funny is because men are dressing like women.  But it goes deeper than that.  It's funny because they're using gender performativity (just like they used it when they were trying to be masculine, in combat) to achieve their goal.  It's a performance, not an inherent set of traits.

Meanwhile, unlike some Disney movies (coughcoughTHE LITTLE MERMAIDcoughcough), while Mulan does have help from her friends (namely, Mushu has the rocket), she defeats Shan Yu through combat and quick thinking.  She also uses a fan, which is a real move in martial arts, therefore using another piece of gender performance to her advantage, and seriously mixing up genders.

And in the end, all of these things that would be considered dishonorable (DESTROYED MY PALACE!) are deemed to be beyond heroic.  Badass.

And in the end, there's no kiss.  Just Shang joining Mulan's family for dinner.   And parents very proud of their daughter, whose own gender, somewhere between the extremes, resulted in badassness.

Real women come in all shapes and sizes

So, I've already pointed out what Lea Salonga mentioned, that Mulan is not Boobsaplenty.   But consider something else:

Mulan wears her hair up in a bun and is mistaken for a man (Shan Yu doesn't recognize her in her dress until she pulls up her hair again).  I've worn my hair like that before, and I don't think I've looked that masculine (maybe if I were wearing men's clothes?).  She doesn't keep up her macho masculine voice throughout her deception.  At one point, she is naked in the water with men who do not notice that she's a she.

What's the point?  Mulan is not so classically, obviously femininely beautiful that she has difficulty passing as a man.  That's not a problem, obviously.  She looks femininely beautiful when she's all dolled up for the matchmaker, especially compared to the other young women.  To the viewer, she looks beautiful.  But it's obvious that she has no trouble passing as male.  Again, this isn't a problem.  Just as Mulan's gender is a mix of masculine and feminine, mostly something in between, her appearance is pleasant without being excessively feminine or masculine.  She is quite normal.

Romance ... or gawking, whatever

The love story between Mulan and Shang is really what goes on in the shitty sequel, Mulan II: More Money for Disney.   In this movie, there's no wedding at the end.  There isn't even a kiss.

And Mulan isn't obviously made the object of Shang's gaze.  He never stares at her body, even after he finds out she's female.  It's not even her appearance that leads to his feelings for her.  It's the whole package: here's a woman who not only is at least JUST as good a soldier as he is (and has a knack for strategy), but she has no problem doing whatever she thinks is the right thing, regardless of her ladyparts.  You don't find a girl like that every dynasty.

And Mulan is not Shang's reward for being valiant in battle.  He does not win the love of a beautiful young woman by being badass.
Opposite!

Mulan doesn't go head over heels for Shang when she first sees him.  He's just the guy who's all, "YOU'RE GOING TO BE MY BITCHES TRANQUIL AS A FOREST BUT ON FIRE WITHIN."  But when he takes off his shirt, didn't you smirk at Mulan's reaction?  She's checking him out!  Who cares if he's handsome--she didn't seem bowled over by his face.  Nope, when he takes off that shirt, even I'm drooling over his animated hot bod.  And it's clear that Mulan isn't simply shocked because she's seeing a semi-nude man (nah, we get to see her reaction to naked-dude later on, and it's pretty funny).  She's impressed.  She thinks he's hot.  None of this lovey-dovey, oh-he's-so-handsome, I-want-to-be-your-wife crap Disney usually dishes out.  It's a moment where she's just a person finding another person attractive--sexually.

And in the end, this not-feminine, not-gorgeously-feminine-looking-in-the-context-of-the-film woman has this amazingly hot guy coming over to awkwardly, "Derrrr," over her until she smoothly invites him to dinner.

And Shang's affections aren't Mulan's goal.  That's not the resolution of the film.  The resolution is that Mulan has brought honor to her family by defeating Shan Yu, and she did so without playing either gender.  THAT'S the message.  Having Shang follow her home like a lovesick puppy is just icing on the cake.  Delicious icing.  All over his chiseled abs--

Compare this movie to Sleeping Beauty.  Feminism isn't done, obviously, but this is a pretty decent success.

* I really get the impression that Shang finds himself attracted to Mulan-as-Ping.  I've got little to base this on, but it makes more sense than him just developing feelings due to her heroics at the end of the movie.  I think that if he just felt gratitude towards Ping-Mulan for saving his live, and respected Ping-Mulan as a soldier, he might not have been as livid to find that Mulan was a girl.  But instead, he's very obviously angry, and it's very difficult for him to make the decision to spare her life; he almost goes through with her execution.  I believe that he had been developing feelings for Ping-Mulan, felt uncomfortable with those feelings, and then was angry because of how her deception led him to feel.**

** I'm not saying that it's a good thing if he was that homophobic, especially considering that Shang is portrayed by a gay man.  I'm just analyzing D:

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Masochism?

We need to better educate our children and the public about the masochism that's involved with lab science as a field.

Otherwise, people will think that lab science is glamorous, leisurely, or that it comes with a nice, fat paycheck.

Of course, I worked for 11 hours yesterday on an experiment that will probably not work.  The reason it won't work will almost definitely never be discovered.  I will probably do it several more times, the exact same way, until it works.  I will come in over the weekend to check on mice even though it's a 3-day holiday weekend, and I should be resting.  Yesterday, I did not eat lunch or dinner.  When I have a PhD and hold a more prestigious job, I will almost definitely not make it into six figures in terms of salary.  And I will probably still have to work 11 hour days and come in on weekends.

Why did I pick this field again?

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Zeldathon 2010

It's that time of year again (yay!).  This year, I won't be attending in person, due to finances, work, other commitments, and so on.  Did you know that plane tickets are expensive?  I would like to see what happens if more fuel-efficient planes are designed, and if airlines reduce fares.  Yes, I know that airlines are already broke, so sad, etc.  And I'd love to keep them afloat, you know?  Except I don't have $400-$500 to spend on a round-trip ticket.  Thanks.

ANYWAY.

This year's 3rd annual Zeldathon, as in previous years, will tackle the mainstream Zelda console games: The Legend of Zelda (NES), Zelda II: Link's Adventure (NES), The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (SNES), The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (N64), The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (N64), The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker (GCN), and The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (GCN/Wii).  Most of the games, if not all of them, will be played on the Nintendo Wii, using the Virtual Console and backwards compatibility for the GCN (Twilight Princess will be the Wii version).  I've also heard that this year, we're trying some of the handheld games, specifically the Oracle games (two Gameboy Color games which can be linked with a password) and Phantom Hourglass (on the DS, which is the sequel to Wind Waker).

The games will be played non-stop, although players will be switching off so people can eat and sleep.*  Zeldathon starts on July 5th at 6:00pm on Zeldathon.com (live streaming with chat).  We are raising money!  If you dislike child abuse (of course you do!), please donate.  100% of donations will go to the National Children's Advocacy Center, and these (tax-deductible) donations will go towards training advocates and professionals, as well as providing therapy and treatment for survivors of child abuse.

Good cause, yes.  Even if you can only donate a few dollars, please consider it.  If every viewer donated $5, we'd raise a LOT of money easily.

Monday, July 5th
6:00 pm EDT
Zeldathon.com
7-9 (or 10) games, non-stop
100% of donations go straight to the NCAC.

Warning: In the past, I've tried to ensure that the Zeldathon players, friends, and chatroom members keep language and jokes appropriate, out of respect for the organization we donate to.  There are some chat moderators, myself included, who work very hard to keep inappropriate language, jokes, and comments in check, but obviously, the chances of us preventing anyone from saying something stupid are next to none.  If you think that someone has said or done something completely inappropriate, alert me immediately, even if it's something as basic as a chatroom member using the term "rape" inappropriately.  I'll do what I can to take care of it.  Unfortunately, the gaming community is male-dominated and not progressive-friendly, so we have to work hard to be subversive.

Friday, June 25, 2010

The Construction of PCOS

PCOS: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  Affects 10% of women.  Leading cause of fertility problems in women.  Symptoms include "high" free testosterone, infertility, ovarian cysts, acne, obesity, difficulty losing weight, infrequent or absent menstruation, lengthy/heavy/painful periods, and hirsutism.  Prescribed treatments include hormonal birth control, fertility drugs, anti-androgens, and weight loss.  Many women with PCOS do not have all of the possible symptoms.

I hate PCOS.  Not just because I apparently have it.  But because it's a syndrome (that is, a combination of symtpoms) that revolves almost completely around the idea of traditional femininity.

Women aren't supposed to be fat or hairy or have acne.  Women aren't supposed to have more than a specific amount of testosterone.  Women aren't supposed to have trouble having babies.  Periods aren't supposed to interfere with your life, and they should come regularly.  In fact, the only symptom that isn't on what I would consider the spectrum of health would be ovarian cysts; those motherfuckers HURT when they rupture.

I don't know how doctors decided I had PCOS.  I wasn't getting my periods regularly, which isn't that uncommon in young girls.  I didn't mind not getting my period regularly, except for the fact that it was usually a surprise when I got it.  My acne was cleared up already, and while I wasn't hairless, I did NOT think I was that hairy.  I didn't think there was anything wrong with me.

Until I had two cysts rupture.  Then all of a sudden, I was too hairy, too fat, my skin was too gross, I had too much testosterone (SO?).  And my doctors (both my pediatrician and an endocrinologist) did some things that should have gotten them suspended.

Both of them bullied me to start taking hormonal birth control.  I didn't want to take it.  The battle went on for over a year, when I was 15.  The endocrinologist performed a pelvic exam on me without telling me what she was going to do.  I think it's actually fair to say that I was moderately traumatized by that; I cried when I got in the car, and my mom was livid when she found out what the doctor did (my mother was unaware of what the physical exam would entail).  I remember going back to school that day, and my brother, who was a senior at the time, was shocked when I told him about it.

Now that I'm twenty-three, I look back on that experience and believe that this prominent adolescent endocrinologist should have been suspended.  When I think about what she did, I feel as angry and helpless and upset as I do when I think about my sexual assault, which did not involve penetration.

Both the endocrinologist and my pediatrician lied to me about what PCOS would mean for me.  I asked them both a very basic question: If I decided not to take any medication for PCOS, would I be able to have children when I was older?  They both lied and told me that UNLESS I took hormonal birth control, I would probably have even more problems conceiving later on.  This isn't true; I would have just as many problems conceiving regardless of my decision.

I told them I didn't want to take it.  I told them I thought it would be embarrassing to take birth control at age 15 (later, 16).  I told them that I was concerned that it would impact my decisions about sexual activity (specifically that, since it would remove the obstacle of aquiring birth control, I would be more inclined to take an earlier chance to start having sex).  And if I were a doctor, and a fifteen-year-old patient of mine was explaining to me, maturely, that she did not want to take birth control pills, that should be the end of it.

But these two doctors kept telling me that I needed to take birth control, until I caved a year and a half later, age sixteen and a half, no boyfriend in sight.  And I spent six months trying to find a better prescription; my first two pills gave me morning sickness, and I would miss school several times over the course of one week, every month.  I hated it.

Now, I've been on the same pill for about 7 years.  I want to keep taking hormonal birth control; I enjoy that my periods don't surprise me, and by cheating with how I take my pill, I'm able to have periods that don't last 5 days.  Cramps are uncomfortable, but manageable and not long-lasting.  I haven't had any cysts in these past 7.5 years.  And I'm sexually active; while I use condoms, I like the extra insurance that comes with just not ovulating.

But I wish I could have made this decision, to go on the pill, when I was older, when it was my decision, and not my doctors'.  And I'm still fat, still hairy.  My acne is gone, but thanks to Accutane, not the pill.  And I will probably never be able to conceive easily; if I go off the pill, I won't ovulate regularly by MAGIC.

Treating PCOS is using medicine and hormones to make corrections that aren't necessary.  I was fine the way I was, and I didn't need to be bullied by two doctors when I was an insecure teen.  This is a made up disease.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

10 online dating mistakes for dudez

I still hate the Frisky, and I always will.  And while I like this list, there are still issues with it.  For example, all Frisky articles seem to be from a hetero-female perspective, even when they're not relationship articles (i.e. an article about how to improve sibling relationships, which could have been gender neutral, but was decidedly, "Ladies, here's what to do").  It's ANNOYING.  But that said, here's their list, and my comments.

1. TMI. We don't want to know about your ex-wife, your bankruptcy, or your feelings of masculine inadequacy. If you're neurotic about it, leave it out.

I've found this to be true when it comes to some of my friends--male and female.  Self-esteem issues, family issues, etc., are things that can come up after the first few dates.  I didn't write on my online profiles that I was estranged from my father, or that I'm a sexual assault survivor, two things that any boyfriend would have to learn pretty soon in the relationship.

2. Mr. Eager. If you send us an overly long e-mail that sounds overly solicitous, we won't think you're interested. We'll think you're desperate.

Desperate, or creepy!  I've also found that very suck-up messages tend to have this attitude that I will feel SO complimented, I will want to go out with you.  It'll also make me concerned that you won't be able to handle the idea that I might not be interested.

3. Only Interested In One Thing. Just after a one-night-stand? With few exceptions, we're happy to show you the door.

I don't completely agree with this one.  While I definitely wouldn't be interested in a person looking for a one night stand, it's insulting for the Frisky to assume that almost no women in general would be interested.  And I also would prefer to know whether or not a guy was looking for one night; otherwise, I'll end up going out with him and we'll waste each other's time because we want different things.  Since sites like OKCupid allow you to make it clear, just in your preferences, that you're looking for casual sex, not a relationship (or even dating!), it's not that unacceptable or weird for men or women to write that they're interested in something casual.

4. The Dealbreaker. There's a difference between knowing what you want and having a list of criteria no woman could meet. Keep it real.

This I agree with, way way way much.  Knowing what you want is something like, "college-educated, looking for a relationship, Jewish, politically liberal."  Being a picky asshole is like, "has to be shorter/taller than I am, must root for the Red Sox, has to be really funny, wants to spend time with me but is completely independent," etc.  Your perfect, ideal person does not exist.

5. Body Obsessed. If you say you won't date "fatties," even skinny chicks won't date you. You're not a hater. You're just a jerk.

This one's a big duh.  If you don't want to date someone overweight or underweight (or midweight), then just don't message those people, or politely turn them down.  Duh.  Easy.  Don't be a jerk, if you're male or female, and make demands on other people's bodies.  We're tall, short, big, small, bony, fat, all shades of pinks and browns, and our bodies all function differently.  And yet we're still all awesome people who are just looking for relationships and sexual partners.  So don't insult us.

6. Stalker Boy. Keep e-mails, calls, and date requests to a minimum. We'll let you know what we want from you.

I once kept getting messages from a slightly older man who really wanted to go out with me.  I barely knew anything about him, and vice versa; our conversations were mostly mundane.  I explained to him that I was in the middle of finals (I was still a college student), and that I would not be available until they were over.  I even told him when that would be!  He kept asking to have dinner with me before finals were over, and I just stopped responding.

When you continually badger someone to date you, you're basically saying, "Nothing should be as important to you as meeting me and having dinner/lunch with me.  It is perfectly acceptable for me to harass you and demand your attention." 

7. Material-tastic. We appreciate your toys -- your car, your motorcycle, your boat -- but we would rather hear about what makes you tick. That we like.

Well, let's be perfectly honest here: there are men and there are women who are materialistic, and who would want to date someone who had cool stuff, or could take you to Paris or something.  That said, in the context of "mistakes hetero-men make that turn off women," bragging about your possessions is an indication that you want to swap finances (of which your toys are a sign) for sex. 

8. Grow Up. Your resume should include something other than trips to Mardi Gras, booze-fueled tales of debauchery, and all the hot girls you dated. We're looking for love (mostly).

Again, this is a case-by-case thing, much like one night stands.  I don't love to get trashed and party, but there are men and women who do.  It might reduce the number of messages you get from people who aren't into partying, but I got fewer messages on OKCupid when I explicitly stated I was a feminist, and I considered that a good thing.  Talking about the hot girls you've dated is a bit different; in general, it's a bad idea to write about sexual prowess and past relationships/flings on an online dating profile.

9. The Black Booker. If we want you to have our real e-mail address and our phone number, we'll let you know. Asking for it right out of the gate creeps us out.

One of the fantastic things about a lot of dating websites is that you can meet people without having to give up your personal information.  That way, if you don't like someone, they can't stalk you using your email, phone number, or IM-client screenname.  It's one thing to swap numbers if you're meeting up for a date and you want to be able to call the person to find them or let them know you're lost or late (for what it's worth, I didn't always swap numbers before the first date, and things have gone fine).  But asking for personal information, including a person's real name, in the first message or so is unacceptable and rude.  Giving our your own personal info right away is also rude, as well as creepy.  And saying, "Hey, why don't you give me your AIM screenname?  The OKC IM-chat is so buggy," is douchey.

10. Chill Out, Dude. Take it slow. We're not going anywhere. If what we're both after is a relationship, let's take the scenic route to get there.

If we don't message you back right away, chill. CHILL.  If we don't go out with you again right away, keep CHILLING.  If we're seeing other people, calm the fuck down.  This goes for anyone of any sex.  If you're this high strung about dating, then a relationship won't work.