This is why no one likes you, Comcast

8/31/10: First attempt (online)

Me: Hi, Comcast, I'd like some cable and internet please.

Comcast: Great!  But you already have an active account at your address.  Sorry.  I would have LOVED to get you set up.

Me: But that account was cancelled earlier this month.  It shouldn't be active anymore.

Comcast: Nope, it's totally active.  Sorry, please try again later.

9/1/10: Second attempt (online)

Me: Hi, okay, it's been cancelled for sure.  All of the cable boxes and our modem are all gone.  Internet, please!

Comcast: That's very nice.  Please give me your social security number so I can verify your identity.

Me: Uh, no.

Comcast: It's a secure server.

Me: Really, no.

Comcast: Then you will have to go to a Comcast Service Center in order to start service.  Is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: *asplode*

Me: I have to go to a service center in Allston.

Friend: It just took me an hour to get home from Kenmore on the 57.  You do know that it's BU move in day, right?

Me: Crap!

Me: Hi, okay, was just joking about not giving you my social.

Comcast: Hi, how can we help you?
Me: Internet please!!

Comcast: Unfortunately, there is an account at your address that is not completely disconnected.  You will need to wait until it's fully disconnected to start service.  Is there anything else I can help you with?

Me: But the person earlier didn't say anything about that!

(phone)

Me: Hi.  I need cable and internet service.  Previous service here HAS been disconnected, as evidenced by the lack of internet.  We need internet, and we need it now.  Why won't you jerks give us an account?
Dude: I can give you a discount on the installation*, and if you'll hold for a few minutes, I'll see if there have been any cancellations so we can push up your installation date.

Me: Thanks.

Dude: Enjoy your service!
Me: GO AWAY.

* There is no discount.  Online, the installation fee is listed as $50.  On the phone, the fees were $30ish and $99, but they were both "discounted" and equalled about $50 total.  That's not a discount, dude.