Discouraging signs

I think I'm starting to have compartment syndrome symptoms even though I've only used the elliptical once since my compartment test, just one time last week.  My right calf has been slightly achy since Thursday.  Of course, I've done my share of walking, I've done a lot of T surfing that's involved leaning on my right leg, and I went dancing last night.  But even so, it's strange to have the pain still linger.  I'm so anxious about working out on the elliptical now that I might quit the gym this week.

Quitting the gym would make some sense.  It would help financially, since I'm not going as frequently as I was in the winter, and that's wasting $60/month.  Additionally, my hatred of the elliptical knows no bounds.  I understand that it's a great machine and gives you a great workout with low impact on joints, and less impact on calves.  Great, fantastic.  Don't care.  It took me years to discover how much I loved running, and that's the only thing I want to do.  The elliptical is not a replacement for that.

I mean, I was going to stick with the elliptical, or try to, in order to maintain some of my fitness throughout the summer.  First, it was until I found out what was wrong with me.  Then it was going to be until I had surgery.  Then until my brother's wedding.  Now, I'm loathing going to the gym, and even when I bring my gym bag with me to work, I'll go home instead.  This never happened when I was running, even with compartment syndrome.

Meanwhile, as I said, I think my symptoms are popping up from T surfing and powerwalking (and yeah, clubbing).  Point is, my calves are unhappy now when I'm not running.  That makes me want to use the elliptical even less.

My cardiovascular health is excellent enough that I feel okay about not going to the gym until my calves are healed.  But it's still distressing to be dealing with low levels of pain when I'm not doing anything "wrong."  A lot of folks asked me if surgery was really necessary if my symptoms were only activated by running.  I stand by my decision to have surgery, even if I wasn't experiencing symptoms regularly now.  Because "not running" doesn't solve any problems, it just postpones them.  Telling me to just use the elliptical ignores the reason I became a runner, and creates a new reason that, quite frankly, is bullshit (if running causes me to lose weight, I'm sure my mother will be very happy.  If not, who the hell cares?  I'm running!).

Again, I'm frustrated about my symptoms right now.  I'm anxious for my appointment with the surgeon in two weeks, specifically because I'm worried he won't be able to (or just won't) do the surgery in the beginning of August.  The time crunch here is very frustrating; July is too early, and anything after the very beginning of August is too late.  Arg!!