Thoughts

While stuck at work till 7:15 pm,* I've had some thinking time.

I hate being a woman. But I don't. I guess that doesn't make sense, at least on a surface level.

What I guess makes sense is that I hate being a woman in context. I hate that being a woman in the context of the place and time in which I live, means that I'm less than a person. My very anatomy means that many men feel completely entitled to do whatever they want to me, say whatever they want to me. It's assumed that I'm weak, a little stupid, obsessed with my looks, overly emotional, and totally baby- and boy-crazy. I don't have the full autonomy and authority of a human being because I'm not a human being: I'm a woman.

I don't hate being a woman in terms of the things that make me a woman: in my case, my body and genitalia. I'm fine with those things. In fact, the only times when I hate those things are when I hate being a woman in context, in the context where fat is evil and women have no hair except on their heads and MAYBE a landing strip, and where even my toes have to be "sexy."

But actually being a woman? I don't mind menstruating. I have a strange desire to see my own cervix (as yet unfulfilled, nooo!). I only dislike my breasts when I'm trying to exercise and they are nothing but in the way. If you take the gender out of being female, I don't really think it's even remotely crappy; I like it.

So I hate being a woman, but I don't. And if you're confused, or you have some sort of problem with this, then whatever, because I don't. And if you don't think that I should hate being a woman at all, then maybe you need some feminist eye-glasses or something because DAMN, it's not a nice world out there for people born without large enough penises.

*I'm at work because I thought I could let my particles sit in dye for more than an hour. The result was that the suspension was purple, not pink, and that the particles wouldn't centrifuge down (I'd like to think that they melted or something). So I had to do it again. It involves several 10-15 minute centrifugations and 2 1-hour parts. I will not get home till 8:30.