I have a not-that-close friend with whom I communicate on Facebook every so often. We usually just comment on each other's statuses and notes, and so on. Yesterday, this was one of his status updates:
"Ugly code is like a fat chick. Every programmer has done it at some point, we just hope no one ever finds out about it."
Of course, the comments that followed were from people who all thought this was HILARIOUS, and several people had clicked "Like."
I commented: "Dislike."
He replied: "Just appreciate the humor and let it go. It doesn't apply to me, I just thought it was too funny to let my CS buddies miss out on - and from the looks of it, it seems they like it."
I replied: "I'm not being humorless. It's just not funny."
He replied: "Then ignore it... ? Because clearly it is pretty funny. Just look at all the programmers who love it (but will never love a woman)."
Someone else replied: "Philosopher, thespian, and comedian, Daniel Lawrence Whitney has said it best, 'I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there'."
Is this quotation funny? No. First off, as an overweight woman, it's insulting for a friend of mine to make a joke about how men will sleep with fat chicks for the hell of it, but then be ashamed of it. I'm sorry, I'm something to be ashamed of? A guy would only do me for sex, not because he cared about me, or (even worse) was attracted to me?
Secondly, there are female programmers. So you're insulting them by creating a joke that excludes them while at the same time insulting them.
And yet when I say that it's not funny, I'm told to just find it funny anyway, admit that it's funny (because clearly it's impossible that I didn't find it hilarious), or to just shut up and stop ruining everyone's fun.
No one has explained to me why this is supposed to be funny. I already know why it's not funny. "Shut up or laugh" is not a convincing argument to get me to feel differently.
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There is a group campaigning for a dislike button on FB.
ReplyDeleteTHIS is a bloody good reason for it!
Big Thumbs up for you posting that ... and this :)
Then ignore it... ?
ReplyDeleteThis is such a nasty bullying tactic. The people who "like" it aren't requested to ignore it, but you are? "Keep it to yourself so that I don't look bad -- or so that your decency-born principles and my failure to live up to them don't compromise our friendship." Snort.
Good for you for saying something. o.oP!
Um, ew. [to the "joke".] Awesome post!
ReplyDeleteWell done for speaking up. Such a tired, tired old "shut up!" tactic. :/
ReplyDeleteI generally use the blunt approach too. One of my better moments happened when I was a senior in college, on a grad school visit trip to University of Colorado. There were a bunch of us in a 15-passenger van, headed to a state park for the big Saturday Trip, and someone told a really really tasteless fat joke, and everyone laughed but me. I turned around and said "i'm sorry, i don't get how that's funny. can you explain it? I guess i just don't think making fun of people for their weight is funny"
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to say i silenced the entire van, and no one would meet my gaze.