Not cool, Harvard

Dear Harvard,

I've had a long day. After missing my train and having to drive all the way to Alewife, where I nearly smash into another car, and then having to walk in the rain for fifteen minutes, destroying my new "gellin' like a felon" insoles, I just want to get home. Wouldn't you? Yes, you would.

But of course, the Red Line has to slow way the fuck down while approaching, arriving at, and leaving your stop. I have heard rumors that this slowing down business is because you guys and your money have convinced the MBTA to shush whilst going through your vicinity. While maybe I'd understand if we were in the middle of exams, or if this were 2 am (oh, wait, sorry, the MBTA doesn't fucking run past 12:30), when it's rush hour in the middle of JUNE and I need to get home, I'm not that concerned with keeping you happy.

I went to Tufts for four years. Tufts NEVER paid the other freshman in my all-freshman dorm to be quiet when it was 3 am and I had a test in the morning. They never used their coffers to steer away public transportation. And they sure as hell never offered their personal police force any incentive to get to Hodgdon to break up the group of drunk idiots who are keeping me awake.

In this economy, it's important to save money, you know? So, instead of paying for the MBTA to tip-toe around you (as only subway systems can), why don't you donate to a charity or pay me for years of personal hardship endured when people didn't know there were other schools in the area besides yours.

There is, of course, the possibility that you DON'T pay the MBTA to go quietly under your school. But considering that the subway always slows down to a crawl to go through Harvard, and considering that I believe way more that's told to me than I should, the rumors are probably true.

I barely got home in time to change out of my wet clothes before I had to go be late for an appointment. I blame you, Harvard.