Sunday, June 21, 2009

The "Triforce"

I've been a fan of the Legend of Zelda for years. If I were waxing poetic about it, I'd be all, "Oh, I fell in love with the games when I was itty-bitty and my brother would play the first game on his NES!" Bullshit, though. I barely remembered him playing it on the NES, and I remember, much more clearly, him playing Tetris. So when I say years, I mean ten, not twenty. Sue me.

Loki is one. He's never played a Zelda game. I don't think he's ever SEEN a Zelda game (he HAS seen Halo and Harvest Moon, two of the most different games I can think of). But it just so happens that his favorite toy is shaped like the Triforce.

Yes, I'm aware that the colors are wrong and in the wrong place. And yes, it had already occurred to me that Ganondorf, in his dastardly plans to acquire the Triforce, had never intended to snuggle up with it (or maybe he had, and Nintendo was just all, "I don't think our fans will get it"). I also know that the Triforce didn't have mirrors, beads, and bells, or a hook to hang it up in a birdcage, until the great reign of King Buddy the Budgie. But that's a Triforce, and you know it.
He doesn't just snuggle. He actually snuggles with it when he's cold (what?). No, he can be seen much of the time grasping onto one of the bells with his foot, and methodically tapping the bell with his beak. Or perhaps he's (intentionally) gotten one of the bells trapped in the cage bars so that the other side sticks out. And then he ... taps it with his beak and whispers sweet nothings to it.

Maybe Ganondorf WOULD be whispering sweet nothings to the Triforce and snuggling with it. Maybe Loki ... no, no. What kind of Legend of Zelda fan would I be if I adopted the parakeet-formed reincarnation of Ganondorf?

Besides, I doubt Ganondorf, with his huge ego, would poop all over the place, shed feathers, make kissing noises, and say stuff like, "I love you. Hi, Loki! Good boy!" before suddenly getting distracted by my watch.

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